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illusionermuch

.the sweet little nothings.

27th

June 24, 2010

i've found the perfect nickname for myself... kanchiong spider. HAHA.
i dunnoe why im always so kanchiong...
i think is because when i see people relaxing, i have an urge to be the irritating one to irritate them and see their reactions...HAHA...
chey...nonsense... tht's not a reason at all.
the real reason shld be cas im weird like that! HAHA.

sorry people i have to work with. i can't control it and i hope my kan chiong-ness can influence u to be kanchiong too, so at least i have a partner <3 heehee....

 

 

26th

June 23, 2010

i think i found my weakness.
i have a weakness for beauty.
sadly, im an imperfect perfectionist who is super obsessed with pretty things so intricate, so beautiful, so... indescribably indescribable.

oh, im so ridiculous.
nothing stays perfect forever.

thisishowitfeels

June 23, 2010

lol... i just saw something. super apt.

yes honey...guitarislove<3

 

<3<3 all from mel's blog. i-heartquestionmark.tumblr

24th

June 20, 2010

angel: ok... look,...listen and believe
OVER YOUR LEAGUE OVER YOUR LEAGUE!!

devil: heh.... i will work hard and be SUCCESSFUL SUCCESSFUL SUCCESSFUL
then i'll have what it takes.

angel: your chance came. you blew your chances.

devil: i can make it come again *wink wink*

angel: you know you can't bring yourself to do so.

devil: shh.... watch me....

angel: NNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

devil: *should i act?*

oh man... now what? T.T 

23th

June 19, 2010

wheee!!
im finally done with my fathers' day gift.
heehee...
i think it looks not bad not bad but my mama doesn't really like it :(
well well, after all it's my first attempt at photo frame scrappie. haha.
spent so much time on it that im left only with a few hours at night to do up my advert~~~
oh nooooooooo....
haven't even start!
I doubt i'll be able to finish it on time. :(

haha... forget about work first,
cas tomorrow, i'm going to 吃大餐!!!!
HAPPY HAPPY GIRL :D
heehee... i love foooodddd i can't express my love for food, especially good food. haha.

hmm... anyways,
met up with duane, faqiha, jeremy and meridyn yesterday.
go BBQ chicken but kena cheated... cas no tv down there. no k-pop remedy :(
haihs... but nvm, at least they seemed to have enjoyed themselves. haha.
im a happy happy girl too during meet up sessions. <3
eat then the girls went off to study (should have went with them to do advert!) the rest of us went to walk walk around tamp.
oh.. and today is duane's mum birthday. lol. happybirthdayduane'smum, LOL
though i did nothing much conducive besides than meetign up with my friends, i'm glad i remembered to print out the photos, if not, there will be no father's day pressie today.
hmm... speaking of fathers' day, let's hope jem's father is alright :D
*pray pray*

with this meet up, i hope to meet up with yimin and dream kisetsu soon too! haha.. miss you girls :s
the next time dream season meets up, we must must MUST fill up that pretty pretty friendship book tricia and i bought. it'll be really fun and we can spend the whole day picnicking while doing it up. sentosa sentosa beach...here we come!

heh... speaking of sentosa beach, i hope i have enough money and guts to buy my hellokittybikini! heehee... so cute lor!

okayss... tht's all for now...
have to go do work liao :s
tomorrow will be a yummy happy day! <3

pffffftttt....
omg.. just when i thought i'll spend the rest of my stressful night happily...
facebook just had to suggest re-connecting with him...write on his wall... omg.... fishcakemylife.
urrgggh..... deletedeletedeletedelete....T.T *emo one corner*
hmph...speaking of unhappiness,
some people just think that they are highhighhighhigh up on top.
wth... stop your nonsense please.
wasn't even me who started it.
i've never said this before, but it's the choice of words and tone which you use that piss people off.
don't blame non-living things for making things complicated.
blah blah... fed up...

*runs off angrily to do advert*

22th

June 17, 2010

wahaha...holidays are here.
yea right... there's no such things as holidays now.
i have things on everyday. only left with 3 days free now. :(
yesterday go back school for nothing for some water thing. boring.
then today had advert project. yay....finally our big idea. muahahaha.

haihs... im suppose to be a happy happy girl especially during holidays.
well, i had been. lol.
caz' i went for holidays...play play... yay!
though it wasn't uber fun... at least i had some fun. lOL
but after a mundane short holiday... here comes reality.

study study, project project.
and have to face a certain reality i shut myself out from years ago.
should have deleteddeleteddeleted. 

i think it is true that i freaking like you too much. you're too handsome, too charming, too far. outofreach. im glad you're going to be MIA soon for a long long time. happyhappy. it doesn't helps that you're so much older...i think older guys are damn charming. urgggh... i should have known i was being tested. i hate being tested. i still regret. i should have played along. stupid me!

it's no wonder when i heard stars stars stars by snsd i cried like... automatically.
it's like... i didnt even know what the lyrics are about and i cried... so i went to google the translations.turns out  to be.....:

"stars stars stars i love you as much a stars
i come so far just to find that you're still so far.
stars stars stars no matter what i say
i really can't express myself
I'm so frustrated now, what should i do now?"

no wonder... tsk.
see.... i dont have to know meaning of songs to understand them.
if they are meant to be understood, they will be, no matter what the language.

it's the same as whatever is meant to be, will be someday. i guess, we're not meant to be.
oh well.

oh crap... i feel so unfaithful now ;s

on a brighter note. i just had baileys today. <3
alcohol is my remedy, my best friend. (:

 

21th

June 04, 2010

before i even wanna start, lets just say i have no idea why im still online at this ungodly hour. i mean...it's way past bedtime, oh well, it doesn't really applies when your busy with so many stuff.
i'm glad i listened to my mama... not to work when sch starts. haha.
oh, speaking of work, it jus came across that i haven't call yog yet. sheeessshhhh.... omg... so many days already!!! always think about it only when office hour over. :S must.remember.tomorrow.must.must.must.

well. well... went to 8Q and 1960 today :D
i reallly reallllly loveeeeeee museums and i have totally no idea why.
suppose to go out with sara today :S but i didn't know she dun like museums. haha.
so... never met in the end.  
but it's ok. hand ammy, hani and nic to pei me.... haha. iloveyouallnicepeople<3
8 Q is really so awesomeeee....kinda sad tht i didnt get the chance to cover it as an event :S
1960 nice also... look so.. i dunnoe how to describe.. er... vintage meets technology? lol.
but i really like it. i like to look at old stuffs.
haha... speaking of 1960, went there walk one round, still no 'feel' ... dunnoe what i should write for my article. :S
i hope i come out with my qns soon and hope it doensn't gets rejected...oh...wait..not rejected... but ignored, invisible... again.

URGGGH... ican'texpressmyhateredforher. she is really so getting on my nerves. but there's nth i can do,'

oh. on a side note, im hungry. im hungry again. i hate this.

there's so much to do but so little time!!!
haihs... i have no idea why im doin all these. what happen to all the "mum, i wan to sing for a career" times.... where did all these motivations go to....
but oh well.. stop day dreaming and start doing work.

im so tired. i don't even know why im always so nice, 
i should have listened to my mama.

 

20th

May 29, 2010

In a short span of  a month, countless challenges cropped up. For a cozy family of four, arguments that cause our roof  to shake were rare. However, let's just say this doesn't seem like a good year for us so far. As children grow, we yearn for more freedom, for more respect, for more understanding, for the hope of our parents will treat us more as a friend than as a parent. As parents age, they yearn for their children to be mature, to be more understanding, to realise that as a parent, what they have done so far is always for the good of their children. I'm glad i understand the rational of my parents, but sometimes, what an elder deems right, might not always be the final say. Times have changed and so has the approach towards coping or performing something. For people who are of an age prominent to delinquency, it is always never easy for them to listen to advices, needless to say, to understand the heart of their parents.

Growing teenagers.... the root problem of almost every single family i suppose. It's not that the parents have not put in enough effort to mould the child into a better person, but it's also not the child who is at fault  for expressing himself. So who is to be blamed?
Mr. Communication.
Communication spoils everything every time. Sometimes, it's just so hard for either parties to reach out, to show that they care. I don't know about others, maybe it's just that im a very emotional person, but as I grew, i  could feel the branches holding us together on our family tree getting weaker and weaker. it's like it could snap anytime and it's really scary to see a closely knitted family to begin with fall apart because of a cursed 'C' word - communication. It's really upsetting to see age inversely proportionate to family love. Growing teenagers seeks their friends for comfort more than their family, they venture out into the world of bgr, they start taking life too lightly, believing that there is no point working hard for the future, because right before you know it, you're on your way to adulthood, waving goodbye to what used to be a youthful and carefree life. Looking at these thoughts, i sniggered at how silly and non sensible humans can be and is glad that i'm not  and wasn't 'one of those' kids.

Even so, seeing someone dear to me becoming 'one of those' kids made me think about what i have done as an elder sibling, how i could have been a better role-model and how i could have tried to shower more love and concern to my used to be adorable baby boy turned insensible, corrupted, disobedient teen.
I just hope one day, he will realise that his family is the most important treasure in life and that studying is a million times more important than bgr at such a young age. If someone is meant for you, god will arrange that and make both of you reunite somehow in the future, but if you don't see each other again, don't start blaming, it just means that there's no fate between the 2 of you and god will find you another partner in life.   I hope the time takes for him to appreciate these will come soon....

Well, on another note,  it's  surprising that i seem to be a very selfish person after all. When my parents told me that i should go to a JC, i should have read between the lines of their opinion. While they used reasons such as "you can study", "you can fulfill your dreams of going uni", "you can always  pursue media in uni", what they really meant was " you know your brother's ability, he is most probably going to a poly. and we don't have that much money to put two children through their poly education. we don't qualify for funding, and you know our family's income can get inconsistent and by the time your brother is in poly, your dad might no longer be able to work as hard as he is now."  Seems like i'm quite dumb. realised  this only after 2 years later. If i had went to a jc, some of the arguments we had might not even have existed.

Sheesh....

 

honestly, i think  http://lovegivesmehope.tumblr.com  is a million times better than fml (:

19th

May 24, 2010

wahaha...im so bored. 
media management now.
doing some dunnoe what...financial statement. urgggh...siannn

...wth is overhead? poa...i dun like.
i hate maths.
i miss mrs low and salihah :( my maths budddddiiieee.

anyways,
went museum yst for newswriting. 
everyone gave me the same reply.
totally have no idea how to write my article.
then the kid's companion... no such thing lor, the brochure anyhow one.
i think i can say bye bye to newswriting already.
dun even know what im suppose to work on. so broad based, no focus.
i think i make a lousy journalist.

my life is so mundane. 
work work work everyday.
when i get 'off time' i sleep.
and i sleep for hours and hours.
my body needs at least 10 hrs of sleep daily.
so, im totally amazed at how i managed to survive so far.

On a brighter note, 
went shopping with kimmie.
as usual, she only looks at jeans. LOL
funny lah her....
so i dragged her to look at dresses with me.
poor kim she looked so bored.
but it's ok... cas i bored also when she looked at jeans. LOL
kimmie bought 2 pairs of jeans. Nice leh... smooth smooth one. haha.
then she said she wan a pair of glittery jeans for her bdae which is coming soon :s still havent buy sia.
i hope esther and char will wanna share with me. haha.
oh... char buy liao. esther sharing. haha.lol
ohoh..and i bought CLOTHES!!! so hapopppppyyy.haha. <3
not to remind me, i spent over a $100 at watsons. 
so much for savings :(
i think im the only person who shops at watsons. HAHA.
well well... who cares. 
class finally ended.
:DDD
naughty hanisah... played with my lappie,